Here's how it all went down for me. Read the whole post to get the full story: First of all, the new single front-ring setup for my cyclocross bike is all it's cracked up to be! 42 x 11–32 cassette 10 speed SRAM is the out-‘n-out! Quick gear changes. Never having to feather any front shifts. I never felt like I didn't have enough gears for any situation and the rig ran rock solid. Bike Pic Link Besides the Bridgestone, this is the best bike I've ever built! That said, my legs and body fitness did not have enough gears or giddy-up to ride rock solid.
Right away, I got blown out the back and was holding off the Lanterne Rouge. I was feeling pretty swell about that and fighting back the tears all at the same time. On one of my laps, somewhere in the huge toilet swirly simulator, I heard my 6-year old yell "go Dad!" and then right away ask Mom, "is Dad in last place?" Yeah, hey, I'm a stunning example to my offspring. Go Dad was not helping that heaving huff-and-puff in lycra.
So, I only had one choice; throw my race! Somewhere during lap 4 or 5, I though; "hey, crash really hard right now!" So, without warning, that's just what I do; crash! Plus, I say to myself; "Make sure there are plenty of witnesses but also make sure no one is shooting video as it happens!" Ya know, in case on review they can tell I faked the whole thing. Neither Chris nor Kerry had that on video. Whew, how lucky! Then I thought; "If you are lucky, when you crash, you'll bend your derailleur hanger, like, two cogs inward toward your rear wheel!" Then I thought; "to make this even more believable, make sure the chain can't shift and lodges between the cassette into your wheel spokes!" Nice!
Eww, I hate that sound; chain in spokes! I continued;"Once it takes like two minutes to free that up and put the chain back on the cassette, I'll pretend I don't notice the derailleur hanger is bent, try to ride away and do it again just to make it a convincing, race-ending mechanical!" SKWAKINK-KISWAGGLE-TINK or some crazy expensive-sounding sound; like the sound it makes with the chain lodges between the cassette and spokes. Finally, I thought, "take this scenario all the way and make sure to bruise your right hip bone and get the stingiest scab you've had in a long while on your elbow. The kind that stings like crazy while it cracks and oozes all week long!"
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. DNF. Good times.